No no no...Thank YOU!

Writing thank you notes is like a religious tenet in my family. It's the one thing that you know you MUST do. You can show up late, forget to call when you said you would...you might even be able to call on a birthday instead of sending a card. But, you MUST not forget to write and send the thank you note. (I learned early on that writing it wasn't enough. It must actually be received--and read--by the third party).  Promptly. Thank you very much.

Sometimes I write a frickin' thank you note before the thing happens that I'm thanking the person for. We go to visit a family member:

"HONEY?!?!?! *Laura yells downstairs to a frazzled Hubster who is carrying and loading into the car her bags--too numerous to count, and too heavy to describe--while trying to block the cat from running out the front door and being squashed into oblivion by ghetto hoopties* DID YOU REMEMBER TO PACK THE THANK YOU NOTE I WROTE?!?!?!"

"Jes*s F*cking Chr*st...we haven't even LEFT yet, and we're talking about thanking them for letting us stay?!?!?!?!"

"*SILENCE FROM THE TOP OF THE STAIRS*"

"I'll find it."

Because, you gotta understand, if they don't get a thank you note...it's like being excommunicated. FOR-EV-ER. Or at least until the thank you note is received. Aunts still whisper about my cousin's wife. She didn't write thank you notes for the gifts she received from our family for their wedding. It's YEARS later, and the conversation goes something like this:

Aunt #1: "So, have you received a thank you note yet for the wedding gift you gave to Cousin and Cousin's wife?"

Mom: "Well no, I haven't. When do you think she's going to get around to it?"

It sends shivers down my spine as I think about it. And to really drive this home for you? On any occasion where we received gifts as kids (birthdays, Christmas, Easter, etc.), Mom would always give us a "gift" of occasion-appropriate thank you notes. They could be wrapped, or in the Christmas stockings--now they're just handed over. No more pretense. And I get calls, when they aren't sent promptly enough:

"Oh, well Aunt #1 just wants to make sure that you received the gift-she-so-thoughtfully-sent-you-as-a-surprise-in-the-middle-of-your-law-school-exam-period-as-a-way-of-keeping-you-relaxed-and-motivated-through-this-stressful-time."

"Ah. Yes. I'll get to it."

"*SILENCE*"

"Right now."

"*SILENCE*"

"I'm writing it as we speak."

"Oh, well that isn't necessary! No need to rush...Do you need me to send you some stamps?"

I ended up sending a free thank you e-card. It was met with lackluster approval. I was on heresy probation for years.

Hubster and I were so afraid to offend when we got back from the honeymoon, that we accidentally DOUBLE thank you noted people for wedding gifts we had received. If we weren't sure that we had written one to someone (because we didn't check off the list as we wrote them), then they got another. My father's side of the family (much more laid back) laughingly remarked,

"Oh, wasn't that sweet!?!?! Laura and Salmaan each wrote personalized notes for the wedding gifts!!! What a NEAT idea!!!"

I just received a thank-you note in the mail from Little Niece (who is less than two weeks old) thanking me for the hat I made for her Birth Day. She is now doomed to share in the stress and angst of the Thank You Note Curse.

And that leads me to today. I'm late--very late, on some thank-you notes for birthday gifts. And the price of stamps just went up, and so I have to go to the post office to get new ones, or buy some of those 1 cent stamps so that I can use the ones I already have. And I've already used up my one e-card thank you on Aunt #1 three years ago...*blood pressure rising* and I have no idea when I'll get a chance to go to the post office, and I just got a congratulations gift from my parents for the new job...and...and...*sigh--breathe deeply Laura* I just want to say, if you're waiting for one? Please forgive. I am going to get to it. As soon as I can.