There's a judge in my jurisdiction that retired about a year ago now. I think he's fantastic, and really miss him. Fortunately, he still sits as a sub judge from time to time, and did so all this week. It seems everyone has a J.L. story--most of them are funny, although quite a few are touching as well. This one is just awesome.
This week one of my colleagues show caused a defendant on a prior DUI conviction (that basically means that he did something wrong--in this case, received another conviction for DUI, when he was supposed to keep the peace and be of good behavior--so he has to "show cause" why he shouldn't have to serve the remainder of his suspended jail sentence on the first DUI). His attorney wanted to have the defendant evaluated for an alternative sentencing program--in this case, one that is specifically for individuals with both substance abuse and mental health issues. This is a good fit for some offenders--they can get the treatment and supervision that they (and the community) need, and a jail cell is saved for someone who should be incarcerated. The only rub is that a defendant must be incarcerated into order to be evaluated for this particular program. If they're out on bond, they can't be considered.
Well, in this case, (and this is going to get a little technical, but it's important for understanding the story) because the defendant was show caused (instead of having a capias issued, which could incarcerate him), there was no mechanism by which he could be put in jail when he came to court. Additionally, it would have taken a lot of time, money, and paperwork to have a capias issued, so my colleague and the defense attorney were trying to figure out the easiest way to make this happen. (This, in and of itself, is a pretty comical situation--normally people are figuring out how to stay OUT of jail, not how to get IN).
They're at the bench, having this discussion, and J.L. says, "Don't mind me, I'm just thinking out loud, but how about we do this--why don't you just have your client come out here and call me a son of a bitch?" (Another technical aside--this was a BRILLIANT idea--the defendant could be found in contempt, sentenced to a term of incarceration so he could get the evaluation, no additional papers had to be issued, and the matter would be carried over and dismissed when the show cause was heard down the road--every goal could be reached with the utterance of only four words.)
Well, defense attorney goes back into lock-up, talks to his client, and the deputy brings the defendant out before the judge. J.L. said, "Son, I believe there's something you wanted to say to me?" defendant said, "Yes sir, you're of a sonofabitch!" to which J.L. laughed, said, "Thank you!" and issued the papers for contempt.
A fun story about an amazing judge, and a brilliant legal fiction. There's nobody like J.L.

That is a fabulous story! Hilarious judge!
Posted by: Meryl | January 22, 2010 at 05:24 PM
Hilarious! My husband's an attorney, and he rarely has great stories about judges.
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Posted by: オテモヤン | January 25, 2010 at 06:59 AM