I currently spend nearly 40 hours a week in the real life version of "Office Space". And if I did this for much longer, I think I might easily become that guy who lost his stapler. These florescent lights...I am convinced they affect us in ways we can't even begin to imagine, and although it has only been about 8 months, I can feel how this environment has commenced the restructuring of my soul:
- I am obsessed with sticky notes. Before I started this job, I never used a sticky note. Now, I put them on everything--files, computer monitor, phone, envelopes, shelves, notes to myself (yes, I write myself a note, and then put a sticky note on TOP of that note). Last week I found a sticky note stuck to the bottom of my foot--inside my knee-high dress boots. Scary.
- I have a very strong preference for certain brands of office supplies over others. I mean, I actually care. I was pissed when our supply room was restocked with Sparco products--the "Sign Here" tabs instead of Post-it brand, and the phase-out of the Highland brand elongated sticky--2x5 inches--that I have come to depend on when writing particularly long notes.
- I obsessively wash my hands--to the point where they are dry as sandpaper. I simply can't get over how many people have handled these files--and likely not washed their own hands before doing so. And I used to eat bar nuts.
- I put professionally created labels (made with a label-maker I bought myself), on EVERYTHING.
- I highlight things for closure.
- I now consider papercuts a serious injury.
- Being in an environment where I cannot freely fart is enormously difficult. And yet, I have somehow learned to hold it. In fact, I MUST hold it...I don't think I could freely fart at work if I tried. And that, my friends, is really quite telling.
If these 3 1/4 walls could talk....
...would they call me Milton....?
